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AUSTRALIAN REPORT where Data reveals surprise suburbs & towns where people want sex the most

THESE are the top cities for sex around Australia— So says the paper trail

Read into it what you may..!!

Romantic fiction, according to new data released by book publisher Mills and Boon, is more desired in regional, working class towns and outer-city suburbs across Australia.

Behind garden fences, desired wild sex and heated romance are a hit in areas like NSW’s Penrith, where almost 11,000 Mills & Boon books were sold last year — the most in the country — and Toowoomba in Qld, a close second nationally with 10,457 sales. That’s around one for every 10 adults.

The Victorian town of Shepparton came out on top , while the riverside city of Launceston was the most popular location in Tasmania, and Bunbury, a port town, lead the charge for WA.

While on the surface it might seem like these areas may seriously steamy, romance experts said the findings would indicate a cnumber of points.

Sexologist Isiah McKimmie said busy women in outer city areas were often juggling work, children and household duties, and were likely turning to books in their minimal down time to “reignite passion” in their lives.

“With busy lives — and seemingly little romantic time with their partner — women could be turning to erotic novels to find sexual excitement and reignite lost passion,” Ms McKimmie said.

“In long-term relationships, especially where there are children involved, couples can become disconnected and often lose intimacy once enjoyed in the bedroom.

“As a couples therapist and sexologist, my biggest group of clients are couples who’ve been together for 10-15 years and have had children.”

“There is so much that we’re not taught about sex, what it can involve and how to really enjoy it, people are quite curious about this.

“Erotic novels can also be a great source of education and inspiration for what is possible in a sexual relationship.”

Sex coach Isiah McKimmie says research has shown women who read erotic novels have healthy sex lives.

The typical Australian romance reader was a married woman aged 40 with two teenage children, and more than 50 per cent of the 838 readers who were surveyed said they wanted more romance in their lives.

But things are not always straightforward when it comes to the bedroom, with Ms McKimmie saying she had also seen data that indicated people in quieter towns were actually having more sex than anyone else.

“Some research has shown that women who read romantic or erotic novels have more sex than those who don’t,” she said.

“Sexual desire becomes responsive when we’re in long-term relationships, which means we need to put a little effort into having it respond.

Dominic and Simone Britt live in Frankston, one of Victoria’s “romance” capitals. Picture: Nicki Connolly

“Erotic novels can help us do this and look forward to sex.”

Across the wide range of genres Mills and Books books cover, from “by request” to the intriguing “medical” category and “historical duo” topic, “sexy” was the common denominator in each state across the country.

Brownsville folk in Wollongong were most interested in the genre of “desire duo”, while those in Ararat, VIC, were all about the hot and heavy “romantic suspense” reads — and in Darwin the top topic is “forever romance”.

The research was released by the publisher, known internationally for their romantic fiction, to mark the release of their new DARE range of novels, a more explicit new genre.

Publishing executive Jo Grant said the notion of “escapism” for people stuck in routine made erotic novels a fantasy outlet, adding the “pursuit of love” was a drawcard.

“When speaking to our readers, the main reason given, again and again, across ages, cultural backgrounds, stages of life, is that romance offers escapism,” she said.

“Romance novels offer a safe space for women to escape into.

“This is because a true romance novel will always give you a happy ending, no matter how tumultuous the journey was to get there.

“There is something so very satisfying and reassuring about that happy ending.”

Originally published as These are the sex capitals of Australia  << MORE HERE  <<< MORE HERE AS WELL


Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on February 18th, 2018 at 8:16 pm. Filled under: BOOKS,LIBIDO,LISTS,ROMANCE,SEX SELLS,SEXUAL DESIRE,STATS REPORTS PAPERS. Tags: , , , , , , , , | No Comments |

29-year-old virgin falls pregnant & has never had sex

Woman has baby without ever having sex

Lauren has only ever been kissed, and said it didn’t do much for her.

IF TEEN movies (or Steve Carell movies) have taught us anything about virginity, it’s that the label comes with a lot of baggage.

We expect virgins of a certain age to be wracked with shame and angst – they don’t want us to know their dark secret, and yet they also desperately want to end the drought.

As far as 29-year-old virgins go, Lauren seems at ease with the “virgin” label. She’s not exactly screaming it from the rooftops, but she’s not in any rush to get laid either. In fact, she’s pretty chill with the idea of living her entire life without having sex. Part of this comes from growing up with a gland disorder that affects her body’s hormone production, but there’s also an element of not caring one bit.

In a deeply religious Manitoban community, it’s this attitude that pushed Lauren to seek a sperm donor and eventually become a single mum – against the advice of doctors and friends. This has been Lauren’s hot ticket out of the dating market, where she says apps allow dudes to act like turds.

“People say horrible stuff,” she told VICE.

“I remember when I had an online dating profile the first comment I got was ‘Do you want to come sit on my face?’ For one, does that actually work on anyone? And two, no thank you. People like that turn me away.”

Journalist Sarah Berman from VICE caught up with Lauren to talk about thirsty DMs (direct messages), pregnancy hormones, and that very specific kind of FOMO that comes with swearing off sex for life. (For the record, her baby’s due in June, and she’s currently taking name inspiration from Game of Thrones.)

Can you remember feeling different from a young age?

I knew I was different from the beginning. I was born with hypopituitarism, which means my pituitary gland is not formed properly. It doesn’t send the right hormonal messages to the other glands in the body, like the adrenaline gland or the ovaries. Because of that, I have to take hormone replacements to even myself out. I’ve had it under control now for 29 years, so it’s not an issue now. But it was very obviously different because I was taking thyroid pills and taking a needle of growth hormones every day.

Because of my pituitary gland, I went through puberty super late. I wouldn’t have gone through it at all without higher oestrogen levels. I really only started that because I was getting made fun of for being really flat chested, whereas everybody else was getting their boobs and everything at that point. That really sucked because it forced me to do something I wasn’t necessarily ready for.

Was it hard not going through puberty like your friends? Were kids cruel about it?

Lauren is a virgin and got a sperm donor to get pregnant.

In junior high I feel like I was getting it the worst. I got teased for being flat chested or having buck teeth. Kids would latch on to anything that was different. A lot of that teasing has given me social anxiety to this day. My life started improving when I started looking like everyone else. I went from a junior high school with only 100 students to a high school of 1,500 with more than 500 in my graduating class. It was really easy to hide and blend in to a different group.

The hardest thing was probably getting pregnant. Initially my endocrinologist said it won’t happen, that I’ll need to get an egg donor and spend tens of thousands of dollars on IVF. I felt really shut down. But he referred me to a fertility clinic anyway. I spent an entire year on a waiting list thinking it was never going to happen and then after one five minute appointment with a fertility expert that all changed.

I’m quite amazed by your lack of FOMO when it comes to sex. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something?

Since I’ve been pregnant there have been a few times where I’ve felt like maybe it would be nice to have someone for that – to go out and have sex … Sometimes, out of curiosity, I think maybe I could try a random hook-up, but that feeling very quickly passes – I realise I’m not acting like myself.

You’ve said that dating feels pointless. Can you tell me more about that?

I don’t know. I’ve tried dating here and there. I had a boyfriend in Grade 10 and we would hold hands and stuff like that. We mutually agreed it wasn’t working out for us. We’re still friends and there’s never been anything negative between us.

I haven’t had negative thoughts about the people I’ve gone on dates with, it’s just not for me. I’ve tried going online to dating websites. It just doesn’t seem worth it to me at all. The most recent date I went on was around last Christmas. I remember a friend was trying to hook me up with her brother. Nowadays I just do what I want to by myself. Not having to worry about anyone else is easier.

Does kissing appeal to you at all?

I’ve been kissed, very awkwardly. It’s not something I want to relive.

What do your friends think? Do many people know?

With the group of friends I grew up with, it wasn’t a big deal, which was kinds nice, because it wasn’t like I felt pressure to do anything I didn’t want to do. These days I talk more about their sex lives than mine. It’s not that they’re not supportive, I just feel like if I don’t bring it up, they won’t push.

It’s hard to say who knows. I live in a fairly small religious community, it’s very Mennonite. It’s gotten a bit more progressive lately, but up until a few years ago it was a dry town. So it’s not something you’d openly talk about. People know I’m single and having a kid by myself. But they don’t necessarily know the virgin part of it.

Did you want to be a mum for religious reasons?

I make jokes about it but basically this is me giving a middle finger to the people who told me I couldn’t do it because I’m not married yet. It’s the opposite of a religious reason. If you’re telling me I can’t do this, I’m going to do it anyway.

Is there something you think non-virgins out there could learn from your situation?

I think it’s just about knowing yourself. The more you know yourself, the more you’re going to be comfortable with the choices you make. I know what I’m comfortable with, I know what I want. I think people always say to take time to love yourself. It sounds so friggin’ cliche, but that’s the best thing you can do. Once you know what you want, who the hell cares what others think?

Do you think you’ll ever change your mind? Maybe wake up at 35 and decide to just go for it?

I feel like that would be terrible. Even just thinking about being in my 30s and telling someone I’m a virgin at that age, it would be like that old Seinfeld episode. It’s too embarrassing. At a certain point, if I wanted to hook up I would just not mention the virgin part … Maybe I will have regrets in ten years. Who knows.

This article originally appeared on VICE CANADA and has been republished with permission.

Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on February 12th, 2018 at 9:52 am. Filled under: BABIES PREGNANCY,CHILDREN,IVF,WOMEN. Tags: , , , | No Comments |

Aid workers had paid for sex orgies while on a mission in Haiti

London England: Oxfam, one of the largest charities in Britain, Australia and other parts of the planet, has condemned the actions of some former staff members after a news report stated aid workers had paid for sex orgies whilst on a mission in Haiti to help those people affected by the devastating 2010 earthquake.

“The behaviour of some members of Oxfam staff uncovered in Haiti in 2011 was totally innapropriate, against our values and the high standards we expect of our staff,” Oxfam said when asked to comment on a report in The Times of London that aid workers had paid prostitutes for sex.-*

“As soon as we became informed of the allegations we immediately started an internal investigation. Allegations that underage girls may possibly have been involved were not proven,” Oxfam said, adding that four members of staff were dismissed as a result of the investigation and three resigned before finalising the investigation.

The Times report said workers paid for “full-on Caligula orgies” with survivors of the devastating earthquake, including some who could have been underage.

One unidentified source was quoted as saying that Oxfam workers had invited groups of young prostitutes to their guesthouse in Delmas, near Port-au-Prince, for sex parties with some of the sex workers wearing Oxfam T-shirts.

The report accused Oxfam of covering up the scandal by allowing those involved to immediately resign or leave quietly after being sacked. It said one of the men who was allowed to resign was given a “phased and dignified exit” for fear of damaging the charity’s reputation.

The report stated that prostitution is illegal in Haiti but Oxfam didn’t report it to Haitian authorities because “it was extremely unlikely that any action would be taken.”

Oxfam neither confirmed nor denied the Times newspaper report but said its misconduct findings had “related to offences including bullying, harassment, intimidation and failure to protect staff as well as sexual misconduct”.

The 2010 earthquake in Haiti killed 220,000 people and left millions more homeless.

The UK Charity Commission said such allegations risked undermining public trust in charities.

“The public expects charities to be safe and trusted environments that safeguard those who come into contact with them,” a Charity Commission spokeswoman said. “Allegations such as those involving Oxfam staff risk diluting public trust.”

“One would expect the charity to provide us with assurance that it has learnt lessons from past inappropriate behaviour and is taking all necessary steps to safeguard all who come into contact with it.”

Reuters, Fairfax Media


Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on February 10th, 2018 at 7:58 pm. Filled under: ARTICLES STORIES PAPERS,GROUP SEX,HUMANITARIAN GROUPS,INDIGENOUS PEOPLES,ORGIES GROUPS. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments |

Expose: My life as a sex surrogate: A new twist to selling sex for client’s good health

I was in the hotel room waiting for my client. The lights were dimmed, the room was cozy & warm, comfortable and ready for his arrival.

I didn’t know much about my client before we met but I did know he had experienced traumatic relationships with women in his life, and I also knew that he had erectile dysfunction and he ejaculated prematurely.

I was told his sexual inadequacies were causing him distress and pain – in fact, that’s the reason I am there.

As a sex surrogate, this is my area of expertise – using intimate touch and intercourse to help heal a whole bunch of problems, both sexual and otherwise.

It’s sex work with a twist. I don’t work in a brothel or advertise online – rather, clients are referred to me by their psychologists to help work through their intimacy issues.

For more stories like this, visit

I started working as a sex surrogate after a psychologist approached me at a Tantric sex conference I was lecturing at.

This psychologist explained his work helping people overcome their sexual issues and said that sometimes a surrogate was needed in order for the client to understand & enjoy intimate touch.

After listening to me speak about my experience teaching Tantric techniques he believed I had the knowledge and skills to be part his work.

When he asked if I was interested I leaped at the opportunity. I’ve always been intrigued by how sexuality can change our daily lives and this felt like an chance to bring sexual transformation through structured learning of intimacy.

RELATED: The pill was slowly killing my sex life and I had no idea

A sex surrogate triangulates the work that a sex therapist or psychologist does with a client. Often they discuss what happened in session and report back separately but they very much work together to get to the bottom of sexual issues. One works on understanding the mental blocks, and the other approaches the physical.

Sex surrogacy work is embraced in many countries around the world although it’s still quite secretive in Australia. In Israel, surrogates are used to help returned servicemen overcome their sexual problems, or help people with brain injuries and disabilities overcome their fears surrounding intimacy and sex. It’s empowering and beautiful work.

Sex Surrogate Sessions, particularly first ones, start awkwardly. The men are nervous, often struggling to even make eye contact because even locking eyes with a woman leaves them crippled with doubt.

RELATED: What my online affair taught me about my marriage

The first time, we just sat around and talked, practising holding eye contact and discussing why that makes them uncomfortable. For most of my clients, even the language surrounding intimacy is uneasy.

We then progress to simple touching in the next surrogate session.

I touch an arm, or a back, nothing wild and sexy – it’s about learning to recognise when touch feels good and relaxing and enjoying that touch.

We also work on how to request the types of touch that make them feel nice, structuring language and awareness in the body.

Next, we work on moving past the perceived shame around masturbation. This is a beauteous shift – when a man can masturbate without embarrassment.

I wouldn’t perform the act for them, but instead partake in “witnessed masturbation” which was basically watching them and seeing if I could offer suggestions to help them increase their pleasure and assist them to be more present in that moment instead of being distracted by other things.

RELATED: A ranking of all the sex scenes in Fifty Shades Freed

One client would look at his watch to see how long he was lasting. Just that simple action took him out of the moment and introduced pressure and stress that were stopping him from performing.

Once masturbation is mastered, anything can happen. One client in his 30s told his therapist he had never seen or touched female genitalia. He requested to explore mine.

We sat opposite each other and I slowly gave him an intimate anatomy lesson, pointing out all of the various parts. He then asked to touch me and with shy fingers, he felt a woman for the first time.

It wasn’t about pleasure or learning how to please a woman – he just wanted to explore something so mysterious to him through touch. Once he had, his intimacy problems suddenly didn’t seem so insurmountable.

This is life-changing work and I take great pleasure in helping people step into their sexual and intimate power.

Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on February 9th, 2018 at 9:20 pm. Filled under: JOBS CAREERS,SEX SURROGATES,WORK SEX. Tags: , , , , , | No Comments |

Circus school adults charged with child sex offenses publicly identified after court lifts order

A group of people linked to a Blue Mountains circus school, who are charged with repeatedly raping and abusing three young boys, can be named after a Sydney court lifted a suppression order.

Therese Ann Cook, 58, her brother Paul Christopher Cook, 52, Yyani Cook-Williams, 29, and Clarissa Meredith, 23, are among a group of seven people who are collectively facing 127 charges including kidnapping, aggravated sexual assault of a child and making child abuse material.

The four are co-related, with three living in the same Katoomba home and one resides in Canterbury in Sydney’s south-west.

Magistrate Stephen Corry on Thursday decided in favour of five media organisations, including Fairfax Media, when he supported the lifting t the suppression order in Penrith Local Court that had concealed their identities.

One of the lads who was allegedly assaulted was a mere three years old at the time of the first assault, court documents disclose.

Detectives allege Therese Ann Cook first abused two of the boys – aged three and seven – in 2015 prior to her co-accused becoming involved at a later date.

Supporters of Ms Cook were in the courtroom when the matter was mentioned on Tuesday. She is charged with 43 of the offenses, including having sexual intercourse with a child under 10, and is accused of being in company while multiple rapes were in progress.

The alleged abuse of the three boys, who police say were all under the age of eight, reportedly included sadistic sexual acts and “blood rituals”.

Court documents allege the boys were raped, assaulted, filmed to make child abuse material, deprived of their liberty and threatened so they feared “physical or mental harm”.

Some of the alleged assaults happened with more than one of the adults present, while others were allegedly filmed on a mobile phone.

Ms Meredith is accused of raping one of the boys several times, detaining him to obtain gratification, assaulting him, and threatening him.

A 17-year-old girl, an 18-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman were also arrested on Monday after an extended investigation by the Child Abuse Squad.

The trio appeared at a children’s court on Tuesday where they did not apply for bail on charges including aggravated kidnapping, sexual intercourse with a child under 10, and aggravated sexual assault.

The 18-year-old man was charged with 42 of the 127 total offences.

The four who can now be named have all entered pleas of not guilty.

Lawyer Bryan Wrench, who is representing the group, told the court on Tuesday the accused deny the allegations against them.

“They simply say ‘we didn’t do this and there is another side to this story’,” Mr Wrench said.

He said the four adults had never been in custody before and intended to apply for bail on February 16.

The others will return to court in March of 2018.

AAP, Fairfax Media

Henry Sapiecha


What things go through Every Woman’s Mind During A One-Night Stand

It’s the age of Tinder, and that means that, for many of us, casual sex is just par for the course. It’s actually kind of bizarre if you haven’t had a one-night-stand or a no-strings hookup at some point. They can be exciting, and they make things way less complicated. But even the thrill of seducing a stranger isn’t always everything it’s cracked up to be.

Your one-night stand may be the stuff of dreams, in which you and a fellow hottie take turns rocking each other’s world all night long. Or it can be awkward AF and leave you wondering why you even bothered. Either way, here are 10 thoughts every woman has when she’s in the middle of a casual hookup.

Related-ish: 9 Thoughts That Go Through Every Woman’s Mind During Pregnancy Sex

1. “Fuck, I totally forgot to shave.”

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I know body hair is in right now, but I still like to clean up my bikini line before I move the party downstairs, if you know what I mean. I wonder if I could sneak in their bathroom and borrow their razor. That’s actually really gross, and I can’t believe I just thought about it. Meh. They’ll just have to deal with my prickly stubble.

2. “Oh my god, this is messiest apartment I’ve ever seen.”

Is it really that hard to walk pizza boxes to the dumpster? Also, last time I checked, the futon is not a laundry basket. I feel like there’s some sort of secret law of the universe dictating that a one-night stand can never take place in a beautiful high rise that smells of lemon-scented kitchen cleaner and expensive candles. It’s always some grubby apartment with bare walls and dirty underwear on the floor. I wish we could bang in HAZMAT suits.

3. “So, are we supposed to talk first, or…?”

I never know what to say in these situations. “Hi, how are you? What’s your life story? Want to 69?” Should I ask for a glass of water or just take my shirt off? I need to channel my inner Samantha Jones and just tackle them—after getting consent, of course. Consent is very important.

4. “Oh, hey, we’re naked. That escalated quickly.”

Alright, so we’re making out. That’s cool, except, um, you’re kind of eating my face. Do you always kiss like a possessed vacuum cleaner? You should work on that. I’d help, but based on this kiss alone I already know I don’t want to see you again after tonight. I kind of regret telling you my real name.

5. “When was the last time these sheets were washed?”

They don’t look that dirty, but they smell kind of weird. What if they’ve had other dates over and didn’t change the sheets? What if they’re in a relationship? I didn’t even ask. Whatever. I’m not their mom. I really should’ve asked, though. I feel guilty, and it’s killing my sexual joy. Fuck, I’m terrible at this whole spontaneous hookup thing.

6. “Hey, they’re actually not terrible at this.”

Despite your terrible kissing abilities, you’re actually pretty good at this whole getting me off thing, rando. If there was a Yelp for one night stands, I’d give you three out of five stars and a decent review that only slightly chides you for your weird moans and saggy mattress.

7. “Um, wait, my legs don’t bend that way.”

I know we don’t know each other that well, but I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a human and not a blow-up doll. As such, my legs actually do not actually go behind my head, nor am I able to fold myself like a human pretzel. If you want some crazy flexible human to try out your challenging porn-inspired positions, maybe try Craigslist?

8. “…that was it?”

Wait one bloody minute. That’s all you’ve got? I only had, like, half of an orgasm. And, how are you already asleep? It’s like you have sexual narcolepsy. You should really get that checked out.

9. “Should I stay or should I go now?”

It’s still sort of early. I could maybe go back to the bar and connect with my friends. I’m not obligated to sleep here, right? Oh, ew, they’re trying to cuddle with me. I definitely have to leave, just as soon as I can figure out where my clothes are in this dank, lightless abyss they call a bedroom.

10. “So glad I GTFO of there!”

Thank the lord. That was pretty fucking weird. I think next time I might just stay home and spend some quality time with my friendly vibrator. That thing will never give me up or let me down (yes, much like Rick Astley), and it doesn’t make me talk to it before we go to town. If there’s one thing hookups are good for, it’s realizing that masturbation is totally underrated. #LoveMyself.

This post first appeared on theBERRY.

Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on January 24th, 2018 at 10:43 pm. Filled under: CASUAL SEX,GIFS OF WOMEN,LISTS,ONE NIGHT STANDS,VIDEOS,WOMEN. Tags: , , , , | No Comments |

14 Sex-Drive Killers to watch out for

1…Sex-Drive Killer: Stress

Some people do many things well when they’re stressed. Feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them. Stress at work, home, or in relationships can happen to anyone. Learning how to handle it in a healthy way really helps. You can do a lot of it yourself, and a counselor or doctor can also help.

2…Sex-Drive Killer: Partner Problems

Problems with your partner are among the top sex-drive killers. For women, feeling close is a major part of desire. For both sexes, watch for fallout from fights, poor communication, feeling betrayed, or other trust issues. If it’s tricky to get back on track, reach out to a couples counselor.

3…Sex-Drive Killer: Alcohol

A drink may make you feel more open to sex. But too much alcohol can numb your sex drive.

Being drunk can also be a turn-off for your partner. If you have trouble drinking less, seek help.

4…Sex-Drive Killer: Too Little Sleep

If your sexual get-up-and-go is gone, maybe you’re not getting enough sleep. Do you go to bed too late or rise too early? Do you have a sleep problem like trouble falling or staying asleep, or a condition such as sleep apnea? Anything that messes with a good night’s rest can mess with sex. Fatigue saps sexy feelings. Work on your sleep habits, and if that doesn’t help, talk to your doctor.

5…Sex-Drive Killer: Having Kids

You don’t lose your sex drive once you’re a parent. However, you do lose some time to be close with kids under foot. Hire a babysitter to nurture some time to be partners as well as parents. New baby? Try sex during baby’s nap time.

6…Sex-Drive Killer: Medication

Some drugs can turn down desire. They include some of these types of medications:

  • Antidepressants
  • Blood pressure medications
  • Birth control pills (some studies show a link; others don’t)
  • Chemotherapy
  • Anti-HIV drugs
  • Finasteride

Switching drugs or dosages may help — ask your doctor about that and never stop taking any medicine on your own. Tell your doctor, too, if  your sex drive stalls soon after you start taking a new drug.

7…Sex Drive Killer: Poor Body Image

Feeling sexy is easier if you like how you look. Work on accepting your body as it is today, even if you’re working to get in shape. Feeling good about yourself can put you in the mood. If your partner has low esteem, assure them that they’re sexy.

8…Sex-Drive Killer: Obesity

When you’re overweight or obese, desire often dims. It could be that you don’t enjoy sex, can’t perform like you want to, or are held back by low self-esteem. Working on how you feel about yourself, with a counselor if needed, may make a big difference.

9…Sex-Drive Killer: Erection Problems

Men with ED (erectile dysfunction) often worry about how they will be able to perform sexually, and that worry can drain their desire. ED can be treated, and couples can also work to keep it from affecting their relationship.

10…Sex-Drive Killer: Low T

The “T” hormone, testosterone, fuels sex drive. As men age, their T levels may drop a bit. Not all lose the desire for sex as this happens, but some do. Many other things — from relationships to weight — also affect a man’s sex drive and testosterone levels, so there’s not a one-size-fits-all answer for every man.

11…Sex-Drive Killer: Depression

Being depressed can shut off pleasure in many things, including sex. That’s one of many reasons to get help. If your treatment involves medication, tell your doctor if your sex drive is low, since some (but not all) depression drugs lower sex drive. Talk about it with your therapist, too.

12…Sex-Drive Killer: Menopause

For many women, sex drive dims around menopause. That’s partly about symptoms such as vaginal dryness and pain during sex. But every woman is different, and it’s possible to have a great sex life after menopause by tending to your relationship, self esteem, and overall health.

13…Sex-Drive Killer: Lack of Closeness

Sex without feeling close can slay desire. Intimacy is more than just sex. If your sex life is idling, try spending more non-sexual time together, just the two of you. Talk, snuggle, trade massages. Find ways to express love without having sex. Getting closer can rebuild your sex drive.

Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on December 11th, 2017 at 9:07 am. Filled under: ALCOHOL DRINKING,CHILDREN,LIBIDO,LISTS,MEDICAL HEALTH,SEX PROBLEMS,SLEEPING,WEIGHT DIETS. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments |

Secret life of sex addicts revealed

JESSIE* is 30 years old, with a full-time job and what she describes as a “happy marriage” – but in secret, she regularly fires off messages cruising for casual sex, masturbates three times a day and constantly fantasises about steamy, meaningless encounters.

The university graduate believes she has been a sex addict since the age of 14, and has even passed on sexually transmitted infections to her husband because of her reckless behaviour.

“I engage in high-risk and detrimental sexual behaviours that I have trouble controlling,” she said, adding that her urges were “intermittent” but had a “serious impact” on her wellbeing and relationships with family, friends and her current and former partners.

There continues to be hot debate within the scientific community over whether sex addiction really exists as a disorder

“I often feel deep shame as a result, yet I cannot control these actions,” she admitted.

The young woman, who has been diagnosed with anxiety and takes antidepressants, said she has “honestly no idea” what to do about it.

Scientists are still divided over whether sex addiction is really a clinical disorder – and if it is, how it can be accurately identified and treated.

With unfaithful celebrities and even some accused of harassment and assault blaming sex addiction, there is widespread doubt about the condition’s veracity. After the revelations about Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, both checked themselves into rehab, leading three non-profit organisations to come out against the idea that sex or pornography can be addictive.

The field is hard to study because of difficulties in monitoring the brain’s arousal over a typical day. But Michael Walton, researcher at the University of New England in NSW, said “a small group could be addicted”.

Mr Walton and psychologists at UNE and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto estimate around 3-6 per cent of the population could have a true “hypersexual” disorder. For others, there may be more complex factors at play.


When Jordan* was 15, he was having 50 orgasms a day. That may sound like a teenage boy’s dream, but was for this young man a distressing compulsion that left him feeling depressed and guilty, and failing at school.

The 19-year-old student, who takes medication for severe clinical depression, believes he has been a sex addict since the age of 13, with his problem peaking two years later, when he was spending 14 hours each week masturbating and watching porn. “Porn is like cocaine,” he said. “I feel addicted and I can’t stop.”

Mr Walton said there are undoubtedly people who struggle to control their sexual behaviour, causing them to experience considerable emotional distress, but their level of sexual activity may vary.

“One of my case studies was married but involved in swinging with their husband,” said Mr Walton, who has surveyed more than 1500 people over several years. “They would sleep with multiple people, up to 20 in a weekend, and that person is mostly OK, there may just occasionally be some unease or fatigue. Then you’ve got someone else who’s watching quite a lot of porn and masturbating. You’ve got someone whose output is way above someone who’s feeling distressed.”

The addiction is not necessarily about the specific amount of sex or masturbation people are engaging in – it’s about whether their behaviour is causing them anxiety. Those at the higher end can also become socially isolated, neglect healthy behaviour such as exercise and experience immediate physical issues such as infection or penile trauma.

“A lot of people have a psychological problem of which hypersexuality may be a symptom,” said Mr Walton. “With hypersexual disorder, the numbers are probably a lot lower.

“It could be a symptom of a host of things. For a lot of people, it could be about sexual satisfaction, their relationship, monogamy.

“There’s a cluster of people with clinical depression and anxiety – is the low mood driving it?”

Hypersexuality has been identified as a symptom of borderline personality disorder, bipolar, neurological conditions such a Parkinson’s, abuse of drugs or alcohol and, in a limited number of cases, the side-effect of prescribed medication.

But Mr Walton and his colleagues “wouldn’t rule out classifying it in the future”.


Aaron* is a 42-year-old married man who visits escorts two or three times a week and cruises for sex with men or women at parks or public toilets once or twice a month.

The father-of-one said he is “habituated to casual or anonymous sex” and would “choose prostitutes randomly and have casual sex with men, even though I have no romantic or physical attraction” towards them.

He said he frequently “pursued sex without real thought”, and while he knew cheating was wrong and regretted it afterwards, an attempt to stop for three months was followed by “intense binges that involved more than 30 partners in a month”.

Aaron said his anonymous encounters had only increased his “sexual energy” with his wife, and the negative consequences of his hypersexuality were “largely financial”, since he had spent “thousands of dollars a year on paid sex”.

Aaron said that he felt “almost no emotion” about his sexual activities although he knew that his sexual behaviour was “far outside the boundaries and expectations of his marriage”. He said he thrived on the “freedom” of transgressive sex where there were “no expectations” on his behaviour.

He did not report any mental health issues, but his score on a validated test found he had “extremely severe” levels of depression and anxiety.

Around 80 per cent of self-identified sex addicts are male and many suffer from low self-esteem or report being sexually abused as children. Other recurring factors were that individuals were Christian and their behaviour was incongruent with their beliefs, or there was some confusion around their sexual orientation. Researchers raised questions around sex education.

Mr Walton said: “We’ve got to agree on a diagnostic that’s non-pejorative and non-judgemental.”

His research with associate professors Amy Lykins and Najot Bhullar from UNE and Dr James Cantor from the Toronto addiction centre concludes that “it is time” hypersexuality was at least recognised as “a psychosexual behavioural problem”.

Previous research has found that hypersexual individuals (particularly men) have a higher propensity for sexual excitement or arousal compared to the general population. “A lot of people had no recognition of what their emotions or feelings were when aroused,” said Mr Walton.

While much of the research so far relies on perceptions, and the matter is complicated by celebrities going to “very expensive clinics”, Mr Walton said what we know is that some people display problematic sexual behaviour.

“Where it really becomes a problem is around sexual risk taking, especially if it’s combined with drugs. You get unsafe sex, HIV, that combination of risky sexual behaviour with high excitation.”

He said people often self-manage psychological issues including relationship problems and that although high states of sexual arousal may adversely impact cognitive processing, the researchers do not consider that typically an individual’s sexual behaviour is substantively beyond one’s self-control.

That’s important in a legal sense. Mr Walton said: “One of the problems with sex addiction model is, how is the court going to interpret that?

“What is the level of control? These disorders have potentially very serious implications in court.”

Henry Sapiecha

Published by Henry, on December 11th, 2017 at 8:01 am. Filled under: ADDICTIONS,SECRET DISCREET SEX,SEX DRIVE & VIAGRA,SEX ORGAN ABNORMALTIES,SEX PROBLEMS,SEX STORIES,STIMULATION LIBIDO,STRANGE ODD. Tags: , , , , , , | No Comments |

Pamplona ‘wolf pack’ gang rape trial angers Spain

Banners saying “trial against defendants, not against the victim” are held at a rally in Pamplona

Feminists and legal observers in Spain have expressed outrage at what they see as “patriarchal justice” during the trial of five men accused of gang raping an 18-year-old woman during Pamplona’s San Fermín bull-running festival in 2016.

The judge, who will consider his verdict after Tuesday’s final hearing, has come under fire over his decisions to allow evidence to be presented about the alleged victim’s personal life and character, while not permitting the inclusion of texted conversations between the accused in which they apparently discuss plans to rape women.

Searching through conversations in the WhatsApp group called “La manada”, or “wolf pack”, to which the men belonged, police investigators came across an incident in which video showed some of the individuals apparently abusing another woman, who seemed to be unconscious.

Conversations prior to their journey from Seville to Pamplona mention the need to procure date rape drugs and ropes, “because when we get there, we’ll want to rape everything we set eyes on”.

A private detective’s report, commissioned by one of the accused, was compiled by spying on the alleged victim in the aftermath of the alleged attack, including her activity on social media and a holiday with friends. Two weeks into the trial, the defence decided to withdraw the file as evidence.

The strategy of the defence has been based on an attempt to show that the woman consented to group sex with all five of them. They are men in their late 20s, including a Civil Guard police officer who is also accused of stealing the female student’s mobile phone immediately after the incident. If found guilty, the men face prison terms of up to 25 years.

“In this trial, it seems that what is being judged is not the crimes, but this woman’s honour,” says Amalia Fernández, president of Themis, a Spanish organisation of women jurists.

Criticising the judge’s decision to include the detective’s report and media debates over whether the alleged victim had been truthful in describing the late-night encounter with the men as rape, Ms Fernández sees evidence of a systematic bias against women.

“We live in a society with patriarchal attitudes. Courts reflect society leading to a double victimisation as in this case. In crimes against women, the victim is turned into a suspect, something that never happens to complainants in other crimes.”

Ms Fernández questions how the judge could have considered a private detective’s report on the student from Madrid to be of any value in evaluating her level of trauma, while describing the material from the accused’s WhatsApp conversations as irrelevant in terms of their “preparations” for the alleged crime.


She also criticises the fact that the accused were not cross-examined until the end of the trial after hearing all the other evidence and the testimony of the alleged victim, an extremely rare exception to the norm in Spanish trials in which defendants are put on the stand first.

When the five men finally gave evidence, women protestors could be heard outside the Pamplona courthouse shouting slogans including “No means no”.

Media reporting, focusing heavily on the alleged victim’s credibility, has been criticised. In one instance, a major TV network ran a poll on Twitter asking the public if they believed it was a rape or consensual sex.

Videos of the late-night encounter between the men and the young woman from Madrid show how they wandered the streets among other drunken revellers before two of the men led her into the basement block of flats by the hand.

According to the police report on the case, the men surrounded the teenager in a small alcove, removed her clothes and had unprotected penetrative sex.

The five accused of the alleged gang rape are in jail

The men sent WhatsApp messages to friends celebrating the sex act, and promised to share videos they took on their phones. Those videos have been examined by the court frame by frame.

The police report on the videos says that the alleged victim maintains a “passive or neutral” attitude throughout the scene, keeping her eyes closed at all times.

“I just wanted it to finish as soon as possible,” she said on the witness stand.

The woman was found in a reportedly distraught state by a couple in the street outside the scene of the alleged crime. She told the court she is still having psychological treatment to deal with trauma from the alleged attack.


Published by Henry, on November 29th, 2017 at 5:36 pm. Filled under: CONSENSUAL SEX,COUNTRIES,COURT CASES LEGALS,PEOPLE,RAPE SEXUAL ABUSE. Tags: , , , , , , , | No Comments |

Top 10 Most Expensive Virginities Ever Sold (2017) VIDEO PRESENTATION

A reader comments on the absurdly-high price:

It’s a free market, eh? Though I’d be surprised if the price stays this high this long. If pretty white girls are so sought after, perhaps we might see some money return from East to West. Though I suspect they will get priced out of the market by the third world, where there must be no shortage of talent ready to compete for sums a lot lower.

Then there is the cost of assessing the state of her virginity, which will surely become a relevant sales point to rule out all the pretenders. Though the obvious spin off industry will be surgery to re-virginize women. At $3m, these costs are covered.

Of course girls who did this in Islamic countries would have to be killed afterwards.


Published by Henry, on November 18th, 2017 at 7:25 pm. Filled under: AUCTIONS,FOR SALE & WANTED,SELLING SEX,VIDEOS,VIRGINS. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments |